My husband was out of town last weekend, male bonding with his buddies, leaving me home alone. I've always fancied myself a strong, independent woman, but the prospect of being home alone in a big empty house was not exactly appealing to me. That previous statement embodies Lizabeth my main character as well. She sees herself as being quite adept to taking care of herself, yet she has spent her entire life, since being changed, with Gabriel. She doesn't want to see that she is much more dependant on him than she would like. It's amazing how much of yourself you put into your characters you create. Lizabeth's relationship with Gabriel, and to some extent with Christian as well, mirrors relationships that I have had in the past.
I'm not scared of many things, but if you know me there are two things that will bring me to immediate panic...elevators and thunderstorms. I can't really recall any traumatic event in my life that began my fear of either, but I've been afraid of both as far back as I can remember.
One time in college, I was on my way to my last exam of my sophomore year and I got stuck between 2 floors in an elevator in my dorm. During the ride, the interior door opened to the cinder bock shaft wall. I frantically started banging buttons, the doors shut and the elevator moved slightly. When the doors opened again I could see light and the floor of the building was at about eye level. Full of adrenaline I jumped, climbed, scrambled (I'm not sure what) up the shaft wall to the floor just above me and pulled myself out. I didn't really need an event to cement my fear of elevators, but this one did certainly.
My novel is written in as a first person account, so you as the reader are inside Lizabeth's head. I need to make you feel everything she is feeling, hopefully as deeply as she is feeling it. This draws a lot on my theater background as well. As I am writing I often feel as if I need to be in the right mindset, feeling the correct emotions to pull off Lizabeth's thoughts believable (just as I would if I were acting a part). Fear is a powerful emotion and central to this story, so when I was alone this weekend and feeling, honestly, quite scared at times it was the perfect time to write.